Die, you bastard!

I had decided that I wasn’t going to write about Destiny anymore. But then something very funny happened and I changed my mind. Last week was my anniversary with my fiancé and she gave me a unique gift.

See, for the last 2 months she has put up with me playing Destiny obsessively, disappearing into the Playstation for hours at a time. Turns out though that she hasn’t been idle during that time. No, instead she has been methodically cataloguing my conversations with the various people on my fire-team. My present was a list of the weirdest, and funniest things I’ve apparently said over the last 8 weeks.

If you’ve played Destiny, some of these won’t seem all that strange, but if you imagine what it would be like listening to a one sided conversation for someone who doesn’t know the game and they are quite amusing. So, here is the list of the best, recorded verbatim. Honestly though, I don’t even remember saying any of these things.

  • There’s only one way to say ‘thank you.’ And that’s with a bullet to the face.
  • I was picking some flowers.
  • I don’t understand why this guy just won’t die!
  • I have zero clue what we’re doing… Oh. We’re still doing that.
  • Is that why that guy before was impossible to kill?
  • Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Not in there! Not in there!
  • The fights against the Cabal are a lot more scrappy than against the other races.
  • Just nonchalant sitting there.
  • I haven’t a clue. I don’t know what we’re doing on Mars!
  • Ceremonial blade… Tower! Tower, tower!
  • I just got a piece of armour that doubles the amount of armour I had before – more than doubles!
  • Since we can’t re-spawn, let’s not try any heroics.
  • Mental note: load a shotgun if you want to use one.
  • Oh! This is the magic cave – that is no longer magic.
  • What are you doing? Killing people.
  • Check it out now! Da funk show brother. Right about now!… Do you like that song?
  • I have to be careful – Ooh! (frantic butting mashing) – ‘cos I often kill myself with the rocket launcher or with my own superpower.
  • Apparently… I’ve been recording a video because it just said: “video saved”. I don’t remember doing that.
  • Oh, I’m out of ammo. Not good!
  • Bloody Dinkleface!
  • I’ve been doing nothing. I’ve been hiding behind this fucking rock.
  • Boots make you more intelligent. (snicker)
  • Alright… Should we go to space?
  • Die, you bastard!
  • I’m gonna sort of watch the backdoor here.
  • Oh. The reason I’m about to die… is because I have no ammunition in my gun. And I’ve just been clicking.
  • Where have I spawned?!
  • There’s one of those little peon shits standing on top of my orb!

There you have it. Apparently I’m a bit a freak. She’s going to keep up her log so I might do another of these someday if the mood strikes.

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About Sebastian Young
Sebastian has been playing games since the age of 8, cutting his teeth with Nintendo and Sega, and now can usually be found dying repeatedly in online FPS’s. Really, he should just quit. Open world RPG’s and grand strategy games also see him lose his sense of reality for several months of the year. You won’t find him on twitter though since he lives in a cave